11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (2022)

Whileintrovertsmake up anywhere from one third to one half of the population, people with this personality type often report that others do not seem to understand them. Here are some of the biggest myths, misconceptions, and misunderstandings about what it means to be an introvert—and if you're unsure whether you are one, take our introvert vs. extrovert test to find out before reading on.

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8 Signs You're an Introvert

1

Quiet Doesn't Mean Shy

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (1)

People sometimes make the mistake of thinking that just because a person is quiet, it also means the person is shy. It is important to realize that there is a big difference between introversion, shyness, andsocial anxiety.

Introverted people are not necessarily apprehensive about talking to others, although some introverted people certainly do experienceshyness or social anxiety.

Introverts tend to be more reserved and inward-turning. They like to get to know a person more before engaging in a lot of conversation.

Introverts prefer to think before they speak. They typically don't enjoy a lot of chit-chat or small talk. So, the next time you notice someone who is quiet and reserved, don't assume that they are shy or afraid of talking to others.

Differences Between Introversion and Shyness

2

They're Not Angry or Depressed

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (2)

When an introvert feels overwhelmed by too much socializing, they often need a little quiet time and solitude to recharge. Unfortunately, people sometimes misinterpret this desire to be alone as a negative emotion, such as being angry, depressed, sullen, or anxious.

If you are an introvert, you might recall being told by parents or other adults to "come out of your room and stop sulking," when you were really just trying to have a little quiet time. This can be confusing for extroverts who may not understand why a person needs solitude.

Introverts might be surprised to find that other people interpret the need to be alone as rude or dismissive.

3

They Do Have Fun

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (3)

Introverts are not party-poopers. While they might be quiet at a loud and crowded social gathering, it doesn't mean they are not having fun.

In many cases, the introverts in the room are content to sit back and observe, taking in all the interesting sights, sounds, and conversations. They are curious and want to learn more about the world and the people around them.​

While extroverts might accomplish this by asking questions and starting conversations, introverts prefer to listen and reflect.

(Video) 11 Things Introverts Want You to Know

4

They Aren't Rude

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (4)

Introverts can be quiet and reserved when you meet them, and it can be difficult to know what they're thinking. This can cause others to perceive them as rude.

Before you interpret this initial reserve as rudeness, consider personality and interpersonal styles. It is important to understand that an introvert might simply need to get to know you better before they feel comfortable and willing to open up.

5

Introverts Aren't Weird

According to some estimates, as much as half of the population identifies as introverted. Based on those figures alone, introversion certainly is not something weird, odd, or even eccentric. Introverts are sometimes unfairly categorized as strange.

Introverts tend to follow their own interests rather than paying much attention to what is popular or trendy.

6

They Don't Want to Be Alone All the Time

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (6)

(Video) 11 Things Introverts Want You to Know

While introverts might need to have some time alone each day to gain back their energy, it certainly does not mean that they want to be alone all the time. Introverts enjoy spending time with people they know well.

But even spending time with close friends and loved ones can be draining. People with introverted personalities periodically need quiet time to decompress and regain the energy they expend while socializing.

7

They Aren't Agoraphobic

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (7)

Just because introverts are quiet and enjoy periods of solitude does not mean that they have agoraphobia. Certainly, some individuals are both introverted and agoraphobic, but one is not an indicator of the other.

Many introverts do describe themselves as "homebodies," or people who enjoy hanging out at home and enjoying their family and hobbies. This does not mean that they are afraid of public spaces.

8

Introverts Don't Have Low Self Esteem

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (8)

Another common misconception about introverts is that they are quiet and reserved because they have low self-esteem or lack self-confidence. This can be particularly problematic for introverted kids who are constantly pushed into situations by adults who think that socializing is the way to "fix" kids the adults perceive as being shy and insecure.

Don't assume that reserved people lack confidence or self-esteem.

Kids who receive constant feedback from adults and peers that something is fundamentally wrong with their personality just might, however, start to question themselves as a result.

9

Introverts Don't Hate People

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (9)

People who are introverted are not misanthropic. In fact, introverts are typically very interested in people; they simply feel exhausted by lots of talking and socializing, particularly lots of what they perceive to be needless talking.

Small talk is something that makes most introverts cringe. What they need is a reason to talk.

So what can you do to start up a conversation with an introvert? Try starting an interesting conversation about something the introvert cares about and you just might find that they can be the most talkative person in the room.

10

Introverts Don't Need to Be Fixed

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (10)

Introversion is often treated as something that needs to be overcome. Many introverts report that teachers and other adults often forced them into situations where they felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Some examples include:

  • Making a quiet student take over as the leader of a group.
  • Assigning a reserved child the lead role in the class play.
  • Pairing quiet kids with the most extroverted kids in class for group assignments.

Such actions are often accompanied with the justification: "You're too quiet and getting you out there more will help you get over it!" But introversion isn't something to "get over."

Extreme shyness and social anxiety are problems that need to be addressed, particularly if they result in significant distress or impairment in daily life. But it should be dealt with in a compassionate and professional way. Forcing a shy or anxious child into social situations where they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable is not the most appropriate way to help.

Being quiet is not the same thing as being shy. Introverts don't need to be broken down and remolded into extroverts.

(Video) All Quiet and Awkward Introverts Want You To Know These 11 Things | Introvert Mindset

11

Being Told "You're Too Quiet" Is Insensitive and Rude

11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (11)

Introverts are not the only personality types that are misunderstood at times. Extroverts are often accused by those who don't understand them as being loud and overly talkative.

For an introvert, constantly being told that "you're quiet" is a lot like telling an extrovert that they "never shut up." It's unnecessarily rude and comes with the implication that there is something wrong with the individual.

Both personality types need to make an effort to understand those who differ from them. Introverts have their own needs and quirks, just as extroverts do.

A Word From Verywell

Not all introverts (or extroverts) are the same. Painting each personality type with broad strokes misses all the nuances and detail that make each person a unique individual. Learning more about how people with these personality types tend to think, act, and feel can improve your understanding of people who are different from you.

Differences Between Introversion and Shyness

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. Dossey L. Introverts: A defense. Explore. 2016;12(3):151-160. doi:10.1016/j.explore.2016.02.007

  2. Khalil R. Influence of extroversion and introversion on decision making ability. International Journal of Research in Medical Sciences. 2016;4(5):1534-1538. doi:10.18203/2320-6012.ijrms20161224

  3. Silvia PJ, Kwapil TR. Aberrant asociality: How individual differences in social anhedonia illuminate the need to belong. Journal of Personality. 2010;79(6):1315-1332. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2010.00702.x

  4. Zelenski JM, Whelan DC, Nealis LJ, Besner CM, Santoro MS, Wynn JE. Personality and affective forecasting: Trait introverts underpredict the hedonic benefits of acting extraverted. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2013;104(6):1092-1108. doi:10.1037/a0032281

  5. Martinelli K. How to help anxious kids in social situations. Child Mind Institute.

  6. Tan CS, Low SK, Viapude GN. Extraversion and happiness: The mediating role of social support and hope. Psych J. 2018;7(3):133-143. doi: 10.1002/pchj.220

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11 Things Introverts Want You to Know (12)

By Kendra Cherry
Kendra Cherry, MS, is an author and educational consultant focused on helping students learn about psychology.

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FAQs

What introverts should know? ›

8 Things Introverts Wish People Understood
  • #1 They Love Alone Time.
  • #2 They Value Deep Conversation.
  • #3 They Prefer Genuine Interactions.
  • #4 They Often Enjoy People.
  • #5 They Don't Control Their Social “Switch”
  • #6 They Value Empathy.
  • #7 They Are Great Friends.
  • #8 They Want to Be Invited.
Mar 2, 2021

What does Susan Cain say about introverts? ›

Cain is quick to point out that there's no best type; an introvert is not better than an extrovert or vice versa. ”People have actually looked at this,” she explained. “There's no intelligence difference between introverts and extroverts as a group.” They just have different ways of doing their best work.

What an introvert should not tell? ›

9 Things Not to Say to an Introvert
  • “You're so quiet.” ...
  • “Be more assertive.” ...
  • “Speak up more.” ...
  • Any words that interrupt us (since we've put a lot of thought into what we're going to say). ...
  • “You're so boring.” ...
  • “Aren't you lonely?” ...
  • “Be more outgoing.” ...
  • “Job qualification: Extroverted.”
Jan 20, 2022

How can you tell an introvert girl? ›

  1. Appreciate them: ...
  2. Hangout at places they feel comfortable at: ...
  3. Involve yourself in hobbies they adore: ...
  4. Ask them questions and know what they like: ...
  5. Try to be comfortable with silence: ...
  6. Start a conversation while you're doing something else: ...
  7. Try not to interrupt, they hardly speak: ...
  8. Make them feel heard:
Aug 15, 2015

What makes an introvert happy? ›

Studies show that introverts tend to feel happier overall when they step out of their comfort zone and socialize from time to time. Make an effort to include the introvert in your life by inviting them to socialize, even if you don't think they'll say yes.

What introverts love the most? ›

15 Things Introverts Absolutely Love
  • Privacy. ...
  • Solo projects. ...
  • Writing. ...
  • Enjoying a glass of wine at home instead of going out. ...
  • Working from home. ...
  • That wonderful feeling you get after you make it through a big presentation at work. ...
  • Having a cell phone handy. ...
  • Long stretches of uninterrupted time to get work done.
Apr 21, 2014

What powers do introverts have? ›

The 6 Superpowers of Introverts
  • Creativity.
  • Academic Excellence.
  • Health.
  • Social Media and Online Communication.
  • Deep Listening Skills.
  • Leadership.
Aug 11, 2021

Why do introverts make good leaders? ›

Introverted leaders often empower their teams and let others shine. Since most introverts do not crave the spotlight or a significant amount of attention, they encourage the recognition of their counterparts and direct reports. It is one of the unique skills that many people lack but introverts are gifted with it.

What are the 4 types of introverts? ›

One study shows that introverts tend to fall into one of four subtypes:
  • Social introverts. This is the "classic" type of introvert. ...
  • Thinking introverts. People in this group are daydreamers. ...
  • Anxious introverts. ...
  • Restrained/inhibited introverts.
Jun 24, 2020

What happens when you hurt an introvert? ›

Introverts need to refuel to function. Further, introverts are more sensitive and aware than most others. It's like a nerve- they don't have a protective sheath to cover it. If you hurt an introvert, not only will they shut down, but also he/she will likely shut you out completely.

How do introverts show jealousy? ›

If an introvert is jealous, they are more naturally inclined to internalize the green monster. Instead of being outward and upfront about it, they may admire you from afar and copy your work or lifestyle. Ludwig states that extreme copying reveals the individual's low self-esteem and inferiority complex.

How do introverts talk to their crush? ›

5 Helpful Tips When Your Crush is an Introvert - YouTube

How do you know if an introvert likes you? ›

Signs an Introvert Is Interested in Dating You
  • We open up to you. ...
  • We know just a liiiiitle more about you than we reasonably should. ...
  • We're often one of the first people to comment on or “like” your social media posts. ...
  • We watch you out of the corner of our eye. ...
  • We laugh nervously around you. ...
  • We write you a love letter.
Feb 13, 2018

What makes an introvert fall in love? ›

Being around people who are open and real makes us feel like we can be ourselves. So, show your flaws, nerd out, get your goofy on – this is the secret to make an introvert fall in love.

What do introverts do all day? ›

Introverts enjoy activities they can do alone or with just a few others. So, it's not surprising that so many introverted, gifted children love to read. They also tend to prefer activities that allow for creative expression, like creative writing, music, and art.

How do you win an introverted heart? ›

13 Things You Can Do To Make An Introvert Feel Loved
  1. Let them unwind before you ask questions about their day. ...
  2. Consider their schedule before you make plans. ...
  3. Send them a meaningful email. ...
  4. Ask for a table on the outskirts of a restaurant. ...
  5. Slow down your speaking rate so they have time to process.

What Colour does introvert like? ›

Summary: Experimental evidence was sought lor F. Hirren's daims (Birren, 1056; 1061 ; 1063) that introverts prefer “cool” (green-hlue) colors, while extraverts prefer “warm” (yellow-red) colors.

What an introvert needs in a relationship? ›

Instead of focusing on doing all the right things in a relationship like calling at the right time, texting consistently, and saying the right things, focus on making a meaningful connection with your partner. In fact, most introverts desire thoughtful, interesting conversations about something of interest to them.

Who Should an introvert marry? ›

Introverts will really benefit from a life partner who isn't in a rush to get the information they need. A patient person will allow an introvert to express themselves in a way that's natural to them and allows them to flourish. This way, introverts can be themselves with their partner without fear.

What are the 4 types of introverts? ›

One study shows that introverts tend to fall into one of four subtypes:
  • Social introverts. This is the "classic" type of introvert. ...
  • Thinking introverts. People in this group are daydreamers. ...
  • Anxious introverts. ...
  • Restrained/inhibited introverts.
Jun 24, 2020

Why introverts are so attractive? ›

On the contrary, introverts have attractive qualities because they're active listeners. They speak less and listen more, which gets people interested in them. What makes introverts attractive is their ability to observe beyond the words people speak. They pay close attention to details and are extremely prudent.

How do introverts learn best? ›

Introverts generally have a shy nature, and students who are introverted have a solitary learning style, as they often prefer to solve problems on their own. Introverted learners like to brainstorm and seek theoretical exploration. They want to think out a problem and weigh options before moving forward.

You might be an introvert if you're exhausted by large crowds and social interactions. Learn more about the meaning of being an introvert.

Introversion is one of the major personality traits identified in many theories of personality.. Introverts tend to be more quiet, reserved, and introspective.. The types include:. Social introverts : This type of introvert prefers small vs. large groups of people.. Many introverts actually enjoy spending time around others, but they tend to prefer the company of close friends.. Many introverts love spending time with friends and interacting with familiar people in social situations.. While introverts typically do not enjoy a great deal of socializing, they do enjoy having a small group of friends to whom they are particularly close.. Where extroverts tend to prefer to jump right in and learn through hands-on experience, introverts typically prefer learning through observation .. If you like to learn more by watching rather than doing, there is a chance that you have a more introverted personality.. Introverts, on the other hand, simply prefer not to spend lots of time interacting with other people.. If you are withdrawing from social situations or activities to the point where you are feeling sad, anxious, depressed, or worried, this may be a sign of depression—regardless of your personality type.. If you're struggling with this, talking to a mental health professional can also help you determine whether your antisocial behavior is linked with a related mental health condition.. For instance, if you find you're spending too much time alone, you might explore how you can socialize more in a way that feels good to you.. Ambiverts tend to enjoy both spending time with others and spending time alone, depending on the situation and their needs at the moment.. By better understanding your personality, however, you can learn how to play to your strengths.

From being a compassionate leader to a thoughtful networker

Introverts are people who get their energy from spending time alone, according to Dr. Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength .. Introverts are naturally adept when it comes to actively listening, according to Buelow, who identifies as an introvert herself.. Because introverts typically feel less comfortable speaking than they do listening, they choose their words wisely, according to Buelow.. To combat that tendency, Buelow suggests that introverts should go into meetings prepared to speak first, before there’s time to talk themselves out of it.. In addition to their superior listening skills, introverts possess what Buelow considers a “superpower”: their observation skills.. Introverts are especially skilled at noticing introvert qualities in others, Kahnweiler says.. They can tell when a person is thinking, processing and observing, and then give them the space to do so, which makes people feel much more comfortable, according to Kahnweiler.. Since introverts can feel their energy being drained by being around other people — as opposed to extroverts, who gain energy from being with others— introverts choose their friends wisely.. This quality causes introverts to be loyal, attentive and committed friends, says Buelow.. And the same qualities that make introverts great listeners also make them great partners, according to Kahnweiler.. Introverts, she says, should focus on learning about people they meet — even if they only connect with a handful of people.. Helgoe says introverts can make the best leaders — when they channel their natural strengths.. And since introverts process information more slowly and thoughtfully than their extroverted counterparts, introverted leaders tend to learn more about their subordinates, according to Kahnweiler.

In this post, we have gathered a very comprehensive career list of jobs suitable for introverts right here.

A BBC article said it best: “ The workplace was created by extroverts, for extroverts ,” which is also why it feels like introverts are destined to fail in so-called extroverted careers and environments.. As you gain experience, apply for content managing positions .. Certificate programs or a degree (Associate or Bachelor’s) in photography MA degree Certifications like the Registered Biological Photographer or Certified Professional Photographer. Bachelor’s degree in psychology Master’s degree (recommended) Doctoral degree (recommended). Apply for internships and volunteer work to gain work experience.. Bachelor’s degree Medical degree Certifications in specialized mental health fields. Becoming an accountant may have been your first thought when thinking about the best jobs for introverts.. Find an internship to practice what you learned and get real world experience.. Astronomers usually work in teams with other scientists, but there’s space to work independently too.

Brilliant leaders aren't necessarily charismatic extroverts – they can be shy introverts, with the right training and positive mindset

However, experience tells us that strong effective leaders come in all shapes and sizes with different communication preferences, personality types and leadership styles.. Therefore, depending upon the dynamics, culture and personalities within the organisation, an introverted leader may be better suited to supporting those with whom they’re working.. Depending upon the dynamics, culture and personalities within the organisation an introverted leader may be better suited to supporting those with whom they’re working”. Introverts have the potential to make fantastic leaders thanks to their reflective skills, critical thinking, active listening skills, rapport building, creative problem-solving and ability to think through complex problems.. Use effective listening skills – introverts have a tendency to be great listeners, so employ active listening and be fully present as you invite contributions and perspectives from your team members.. You may have come across the saying that success is 80% mindset and 20% strategy, but embodying that positive mindset in order to make the leap to a leadership position can feel stretching.. You may be used to waiting for permission or an invitation to offer your contribution, so this mindset shift from “employee to CEO” or “follower to leader” can create a huge challenge in pushing yourself towards more leadership opportunities and have a substantial impact upon your career development.. So, if you want to advance in your career and become a successful leader or perhaps set up your own thriving business, start identifying practical ways in which you can begin to embody a more positive mindset:. How to find your authentic leadership style that feels natural to you – aside from adopting a positive mindset, in order to lead successfully, you need to embrace who you are and the unique contribution you offer.

By understanding how introverted or extroverted an individual is, a positive psychology practitioner can adapt their approach to better suit the client.

In social situations, extrovert and introvert personalities display very different behaviors.. Extroverts show a preference for seeking, engaging in, and enjoying social interactions, whereas introverts tend to be reserved and withdrawn in social settings – often preferring to avoid social situations altogether.. Along the scale, it was found that 12% described themselves as very extroverted, while 5% considered themselves to be very introverted.. Their findings suggested that extroverts prefer talking out loud, and learning through interactions.. Journal of personality and social psychology, 47 , 580.. Social behavior and personality, 41 , 819-826.. Psychological Types.

Are you a highly sensitive person? If you relate to most of these signs, there's a good chance you're an HSP.

A highly sensitive person (HSP) experiences the world differently than others.. This makes them more physically sensitive and emotionally sensitive than other people.. Sensitivity is a personality trait that everyone has, but some people are more sensitive than others.. This means that some people are “low sensitive,” some people are “high sensitive,” and the majority of people fall somewhere in the middle.. Finally, highly sensitive people tend to act differently than others and want different things out of life.. Perhaps people routinely tell you that you’re “too sensitive” or you “think too much.” Perhaps you get easily overstimulated in loud, noisy situations.. Those are just some of the signs you may be a highly sensitive person.. Pair this with the sensitive person’s naturally high levels of empathy, and it’s no wonder HSPs feel emotions that are not their own.. As an adult, when you have too many things on your to-do list and not enough time to finish them, you feel very stressed.. There’s an entire community of people like you out there, who understand how you feel and how difficult it can feel sometimes.. Sometimes, life can feel like a minefield for highly sensitive people.

What's the point of all this doing, giving, being there if you're not happy? If you don't wake up looking forward to the day or if you're struggling to sleep every night?

“The great benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the time and tranquility to make meaningful connections—with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our own bodies and minds.” ~ Carl Honore. It always gives me something else entirely, and it’s only once I’ve made sense of it that I realize that this is what I needed the most at that point in time.. “There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach…to force myself into a single role, to decide to be just on thing in life, would kill off large parts of me.”. It was time to break the structure and routine and step out.. And then it’s time to take stock of things.. And then we reach a point where we can’t hold onto things anymore because we’ve held onto them so tightly that our hands begin to hurt.. And that’s what burnout is—when parts of us begin to scream out of the pain and anguish of trying to hold on to things too tightly.

INTJs are complicated people who have many layers—and we can be full of contradictions. Click here for 24 definite traits of an INTJ personality type.

The INTJ is logic-driven personality type with a talent for solving problems and a focus on accomplishing goals.. You’re not wrong: INTJs in general make up just over 2 percent of the population, and female INTJs are even rarer (less than 1 percent of women are INTJ).. No two INTJs are exactly the same, but if you relate to most of the 24 signs below, you just might be an INTJ.. Because INTJ.). Some of these signs are things a lot of people do, and every INTJ is going to be a little different.

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